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now that's scary

Oh dear sweet mercy, it's a loop! The next time I want to torture someone for information, I'll have to find this flash file again and just leave it running for 72 hours straight! That'll make ANYone talk!

wait, what?

So wait a minute, is that some sort of catnip chocolate then? Or is that a REALLY smart cat who was thinking "if I roll around in the chocolate, the humans will like how I smell and shower me with things that I want". The whole point of this thing, it hinges on the punchline which is unclear, ahhhhhhhh! Oh well, it's a short, senseless sort of thing, but it's harmless and not annoying.

By the way, you should keep chocolate away from cats. Not that they'd like it (since all cats from tigers to housecats have a defective gene that prevents them from experiencing the taste of sweetness), but chocolate is actually a vile poison to most mammals; caffeine is a far more powerful alkaloid toxin with greater effect on most creatures than on humans. It's a powerful heart stimulant, it's just a stroke of luck that it isn't effective on us as, say, foxglove. So don't let dogs (or anything else) have chocolate either. Just a little FYI. Unless that thing is a heartless robot with just the brain of a cat. Then you can feed it all the chocolate you want.

What the hell was that????

The closest thing to something funny you could come up with this time was.... the devil saying "thank god" and the "power of christ compels you" line from The Exorcist? WEAK! And he didn't even flip out and turn into a rampaging colossus like in the first 2; that was a perfect run-on gag you had going there and you BLEW IT, along with all the other potential for humor and anything interesting for that matter! This was completely pointless. I mean, how much comedic potential is there in playing Ouiji with the friggin' devil! How can you possibly mess up such a perfect setup as that!?? Well, somehow you did. That, people, is the very definition of "epic fail".

not optimal for flash

Its functionality is a bit sparse for the application of a flash video. What this REALLY should take the form of is a little plush Charlie Sheen toy with one of those strings in the back with a plastic hoop at the end, where you pull it and while it winds back in, it says one of these things at random. Now THAT would be awesome. Although it might be even funnier if instead of a Charlie Sheen plushie, it was an elmo with Charlie Sheen's voice coming out. Eh, for that matter, then it'd be funnier for William Shatner's voice to come out of it and say Star Trek things (or Scottie!), which would ruin the whole point of having it even related to Charlie Sheen I guess.

what about the friggin' lions?

I don't see no damn lions. Where are my damn lions? I want lions, dagnammit! Lions lions lions! Well, maybe if I make it further into the game I see where the lions come in, but it's just not interesting enough for me to play again. The gameplay is too monotonous.

What do you know

I was JUST thinking about the old sega master system game columns, I go to Newgrounds, and what was the MOST recent submission? Something that is practically columns. Although not exactly. They didn't come down in formations in columns, they were always 3x1 blocks.

It would be better if instead of having 5 wildcards per game, if you get a bonus of a wildcard for getting so far into the game. Like maybe one wildcard every 10000 points. Or rather, based on other people's scores, maybe you'd better make that 5000. I beat the next highest score so far by 50% my first time playing it, come on, what kind of half-assed effort are you people mustering?

if you think THIS is awesome

play it in 2 instances simultaneously, with just the right delay between the 2. It becomes seriously hardcore kickass then. I had it just right once, and then every time I tried it again it wasn't so awesome, so it is one specific time delay between the 2 copies. Maybe I can systematically find it with matlab.

this was always my favorite

Phobos anomaly. The first encounter with barons. And especially the way it ends, by far the more epic, and need I mention unique of the endings. How can anyone's favorite be anything else.

I respect your decision to play it safe and go light on the improvisation. However, I can say that it in my opinion would probably be improved by hard, heavy, deep and brief percussion at the end of every *phrase* (for lack of a better word) in the melody, with an extra deep and heavy or at least longer lasting percussion sequence at the end of every *sentence*. You see what I'm saying? Like the phrases end at roughly :15, :29, :36, :45, :53, 1:01, 1:09, 1:18, 1:25, 1:33, 1:40, 1:48, 1:56, 2:04, 2:11, 2:20, 2:28. And sentences end at roughly :53, 1:25, 1:56, 2:28 - and maybe put one of the extra deep and long-lasting sentence-type percussion markers at the beginning of the first sentence, as well: about at :22. Which I guess makes sentences just quadruplets of phrases, and each sentence is actually the same as the others. But you get what I'm saying. Punctuate the phrases with commas and the sentences with periods, so to speak. I think that would improve its already-awesomeness. Definitely a keeper as it is though.

This is the music I want to hear just before I die. Or just before I open a glowing and maybe subtly pulsating, (and maybe somehow slowly rotating, with my line of sight looking forward into it being its axis of rotation) door at the end of an endless hallway, behind which lies the ultimate most badass secret in the universe (for instance, maybe time travel, or possibly something my puny mind cannot even conceive of), ready to be discovered by me. Either one.

eh, passe, literally

Yes, yes, and it's virtually identical to this joke which is at least 100 years old since my great-great-grandfather supposedly told it to my great grandfather:

What did the elephant say to the naked man? Give up? "How do you breathe through that!" Ah ha ha ha ha!~~~ ha....

Yeah, it's still not funny. My great great grandfather sucked lemons, man.

Here's my theory

Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget's nemesis), Tails (as in Sonic the hedgehog), Pikachu, a pedobear, the devil (to explain the horns and wings) and possibly also Ming the Merciless fell into some of the green slime that brought the teenage mutant ninja turtles into existence. After climbing out they found that they were depressed about their sorry state of affairs and as a last resort, took some female hormones in an effort to look pretty. Then a passing jet dumped its toilet water and it got colored mostly blue in the process. Looking for some sort of clothing to put on since the current set of garments were ruined by the green goo and then the blue goo and didn't fit them anyway, they burglarized an awning store and threw something together.

I'm sure that's precisely the story that immediately came to mind when everyone else looked at it as well.

You captured reality

All I can say is, if you run for president, you can count on my vote.